Family Name: EARL GREY
Incumbent: ARUNDEL FITZPAYNE DAPHNE RUGGER OF PIDDLE
Biography: WOODROUGH SCHOOL, DORCHESTER UNIVERSITY.
Motto: MORE TEA, VICAR?
Lineage: DESCENDED FROM THOMAS HARDY
Arms: 2.
Clubs: Trainspotters, Swingers.
Family Name: TWITT
Incumbent: WEST DOSRETSHIRE CRICKET CLUB TEA ROOMS AND OUTHOUSES
Biography: SIR JOHN SMALLPOX SCHOOL, MEng IN TEXTILES FROM WOOL UNIVERSITY
Motto: ANY HOLE’S A GOAL
Arms: TURNIP
Political views: I DON’T CARE WHAT ANY OF THEY LONDON FOLK THINK. AS LONG AS THEY DON’T GO INTERFERIN’ WITH MY LAND.
Family Name: SCHITT
Incumbent: STANLEY SCHITT OF SHITTERTON
Biography: FAMILY ROSE FROM OBSCURE ORIGINS IN EARLY 18TH CENTURY DUE TO SUCCESS IN ‘THE BRISTOL TRADE’ TO FOUND SUCCESSFUL MERCHANT BANK
Motto: DON’T MENTION THE SLAVE TRADE
Arms: TURD RAMPANT ON A BED OF LETTUCE
Political views: ANY AS LONG AS THEY RECOGNISE THE BENEFITS OF OFFSHORE ARRANGEMENTS
Clubs: DOGGERS
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