Jellyfish is greatly feared in Dosret. They bring bad luck which is no lol matter nor a superstition but Actual Fact. Why? Because jellyfish puts off tourists. If no one buys ice creams, cuppas of tea, starving Dosret students don’t afford university.

The scurge – as I’m calling it – is at Studland. Yes, you guessed it: this is by far the poshest bit of Dosret. It is where personages from the capital city of England called London bring their children, nanneys, oh pears and Range Landrovers. And their enormous wallets – yes!

Studland is where the ice cream money is. Bad Fact number One. Also, this scurge is the green jellyfish which are the worst. Bad Fact number Two. There is no Bad Fact number Three YET. BUT if a tiny, pretty babygirl from Wimbledon gets stung then we’re right in the shit deepwater.

Busty you ask, why are the green jellyfish SO bad? I tell you, no word of a lie it’s the horrible disgusting taste of lime. This is a flavour that everyone hates and not one person likes. Fact. I don’t need no marketing degree  to tell you that. Red jellyfish? Strawberry – no problem. We have to pray for this.

Please be careful and if you see any colour jellyfish, or worse, the rare and VERY dangerous sub species Angeldelite email me Or if you’re male 20-65 good looking, GSOH also email me :)) LOL.