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Dosret women are taking on the men by cutting off their breasts to get into the famous Samesex morris dancing troup, finds Dosret Dairies reporter Busty Jiggler.

‘I used to have a fantastic pair of knockers – absolute beauties,’ said one local lady who did not wish to be named. ‘My husband’s mad as a bull on heat. He loves to love and just I love to dance, so that’s why I done it.’

The row broke out when bristols were observed jiggling during a morris dance, which alerted the all-male troup to the presence of the laydees. The rules stipulate that only beer bellies and man boobs may move. All other wobbling is strictly against the rules, according to Head Morris Man, Mr Maurice Mann.

‘In another context, we’re not averse to watching breasts in motion,’ Mr Mann dribbled ‘But traditions are set in stone round these parts innit.’

The women say they’ll carry on their fight, in spite of the upset – and the blood all over the carpet.

Follow the row on Titter @bustyjigglers

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